Expectation

Expectation. It's a word I used in the opening paragraph of my opening post to this blog. People expect all the time. Our expectations are in other people or in ourselves and the experiences that we are having. When those expectations fail to be delivered we tend to look for someone or something to blame. How often do we explore the expectation itself and whether the creation of that expectation is responsible for the perceived failure? We think people, things and experiences are supposed to be, yet they are what they are.

When I applied for the Landmark Forum I was asked to fill out an online form detailing my expectations of the experience that lay ahead for me that weekend. I don't have a copy of what I wrote, but I do recall that i filled my maximum word count. I wanted my life to change. I wanted to see improvement and development related mainly to personal growth. I wanted to be more. I wanted to get past procrastination, beyond knowing that I have the capability, realise the changes and make them lasting.

As I refered to last time, I have read and digested enough previously to be a theorist in the realm of personal development. I have not only read books and articles over the years, but I have also taken a workbook-like approach to breaking down the messages and applying them to my life. What has often stopped me from effecting lasting change is a lack of resilience. Being resilient requires self-belief, a bravery to continue in the face of criticism and scepticism, and a level of unreasonableness.

What I am learning now is just how important those concepts and distinctions are to understand and enforce within myself. I am growing in my ability to focus on the inside first and then work towards the outer. In other words, to examine my internal dialogue and how that effects my life, before going on to work on the how of accomplishment.

There is endless amounts of information on websites, in books and in videos, regarding motivation, focus, belief, and growth and there are techniques and methods to help you plan, organise, and structure your life in way that will make you more productive, more proactive, focused on the end result, and to help you to put the necessary steps in the right order.

Only since I have learned about letting go, detaching meaning, about the space I create for others to respond, and about being totally responsible, have I really been able to start creating a clearing for my life that anything is possible and I am the creator.  It is also important to have sympathy for the ruiner and understand that the machine of being a human never goes away, we just hope to become quicker and quicker at catching ourselves, acknowledging our inner-arsehole, and making a different choice. I do not want to be the victim of my reactions, to surrender to my machinery.

What I am getting from my experience with Landmark is that making people wrong, making myself wrong, and making situations wrong just doesn't work for me. It doesn't present me with possibility. I can be whoever and whatever I want to be. I know that taking a stand for myself and for others makes many people uncomfortable. We often take comfort in keeping ourselves small.

I am taking a stand right here and right now for myself and for you. Be everything you ever wanted to be. To get love, give it. To empower others, be empowering. To have it all, be it all.

I will write again soon about the Excellence Seminars that I completed on Thursday, so if you like what I have written please come back next time.